How To Write From Experiences (and not just the rosy ones)

This blog is for everyone who writes (either part-time or full-time) and who struggles with tapping into our most vulnerable moments and learning to write from experiences.

I mean, haven’t we all been there?

Everywhere we go, we hear about the importance of writing from the heart, of being an authentic author, and that the secret to building an audience, or following, or readership (whatever you want to call it), is getting REAL.

We know it’s true, we’ve seen it work with others, and yet, sometimes, we have a hard time opening up and letting go of the protective walls we put up around ourselves.

Fortunately, I’ve gotten better at this. And now I want to share my strategies with you.

First, a couple of nearly universal truths…

1. Almost everyone you meet has experienced some form of misfortune or trauma in his or her life. Obviously, the scale of those events will be varied, but most people understand what it’s like to live through something tough. And that understanding leads to common ground. Common ground is good.
2. We get our bravery and resilience from somewhere deep within us, but we also get it from others. This is called “shared experience,” and it builds us up when we are feeling low and reinforces the idea that, “if so and so can do it, so can we.” Bravery and resilience are good.

And now, here is how I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and gained the courage to open up to my readers and write from experiences:

I gained inspiration from those around me who had already embraced their vulnerability. I read about their stories and paid attention to how they framed their experiences. Was there a lesson involved? Did they end on a hopeful or positive note? Was there a resolution to their problem or struggle?

I practiced writing in my journal. What did I want to say? What tone did I want to set? How could I make my experiences relatable to others?

I gave a few entries to a couple of friends/mentors to read. I valued their opinion and wanted to ensure that I was on the right track. After all, I wasn’t looking for sympathy or pity from my audience – instead, I was looking to build what I described above – common ground. You see common ground builds trust. Trust is good.

While keeping my stories as authentic and real as possible, I also did my best to ensure that they were engaging to read. This means I added in some emotive adjectives, asked my readers a question or two, and kept things fairly short and sweet.

Before I pressed “share” on any of those posts, I asked myself the following questions:

a) What am I trying to say and to whom am I saying it?

b) Does it sound like me?

c) Will people be able to relate to it?

d) Is my message helpful?

And, I also remembered (and still remember to this day), the importance of giving myself grace and perspective. Regardless of how amazing your writing is, or how powerful your stories are, some of them will resonate more than others, and that is just the way the cookie crumbles.

Let go of your expectations and just “bless and release.” I have found that sometimes, the most unexpected stories go viral, and others that I have great intentions for, fall a little flat. I have had to learn to be ok with that, and you can too!

On a final note …

I encourage you to take this next step toward writing the tough stuff because of how empowering it is. Not only does it foster new connections and build trust amongst your growing audience, it has the potential to help you heal through the sharing process – and, to know that your words and experiences have the ability to help others who are potentially going through a similarly rough time.

So, if you are ready to begin this transformative process, but need a few more tips, reach out to me anytime. I’d love to help get you started.